The second deal-breaker is when a stepparent tries to discipline a child too early in their relationship. In Brooke’s case, she felt that her stepmother was trying to lay down the law when she hadn’t done the work of building a strong relationship with her first.
On the other hand, she allowed her stepfather to tell her what to do because he was the one cheering her on at all of her games and concerts and helping her with her homework every single night. He had earned the right to parent her. If you’ve done everything in your power to avoid a Code Red and the kids still don’t like you, take comfort. Children can learn how to manipulate a situation to best fit their needs.
Believe me, I did. They bring their own opinions and behaviors to your relationship that influence just how close you’ll be able to get, no matter what you do. There are plenty of stepmothers who eventually create positive relationships with difficult children, but it could take years of patience and compassion. It’s the same with biological parents and challenging kids.
My own parents say they thought I was a jerk for most of my adolescence, while I rebelled by breaking rules and sassing all the adults in my family. Yet we’re all close now. So don’t give up!
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